Kirby Puckett

Kirby Puckett

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Scattered Thoughts on The First Week

     Say what you want about Ryan Braun, but the guy sure knows how to shut people up. Although playing in the cordial environment of Philadelphia might have helped him a little bit. That game confirms my suspicions a lot. He's the same player with and without drugs. That's BS that he was only good because of the steroids. If he had been using the entire time, we would have known. That's how the labor agreement helps. You get caught when you take PEDs. If Braun hadn't caught lightning in a bottle by the test being wrong after his appeal he would have been a suspended a lot sooner. While we're at it, here are you top five MLB slimebag rankings of all time as of now.
1. Ty Cobb
I have few policies in life but here's one of them: Whenever you beat up a person in the stands you're a jerk, no matter how much he was heckling you. Another one is: When said heckler doesn't have any hands, you're an even bigger jerk.
2. A-Rod
My favorite part of the ESPN baseball preview: Over half of the players anonymously voting that they would kick A-Rod out of the players union if they could. Sorry, that's not how things work, everybody. You can't just kick somebody out of a union just for being a dick. If that were the case there would have been a lot more unrepresented players.
3. Ryan Braun
Braun narrowly gets the edge over Bonds because of their attitude. Bonds was more "Everybody knows I'm cheating I just haven't gotten caught yet," Whereas Braun was "I'm going to try as hard as possible to clear my name even if it means lying to all of my teammates and humiliating the person who did the drug test."
4. Lance Armstrong
Armstrong is such a jerk that he manages to get on lists that don't even involve his sport.
5. Barry Bonds
Jerk to his teammates, press, fans, coaches, am I missing anybody?
Narrowly missing the list: Pete Rose, John Rocker, Chick Gandil
     It's been ten days and I'm already sick of all of the Derek Jeter farewell ceremonies. I prefer the Todd Helton route: quietly announce it at the end of the season, don't make a big deal, have a ceremony at your home ballpark and don't receive any rocking chairs. That's such an Yankee thing to do, receiving your accolades all throughout the season. This gets downright depressing when you see the Astros Pro Shop. Scroll down on that link if you can't see what I'm talking about.
     Billy Hamilton is awesome. There's nothing you can tell me to convince me otherwise. He's already my favorite player to watch in the league. How many plays do you see like this per game? He's the most exciting player in the game and will only be more spectacular if his hitting gets up to par. Here's an idea from a couple weeks ago: Sports Illustrated said that the Reds should never bunt with Slidin' Billy on first base. How about the bunt and run? It hasn't been used in forever, but if it can work for anyone, it'll work for Hamilton. Here's how it would go: Hamilton runs on the pitch as the batter squares around to bunt. He lays it down the third base line to bring the third baseman charging in. Meanwhile, Hamilton uses his Usain Bolt like speed to round second and breeze into an unmanned third base. It would be difficult to pull off, but the Reds need to realize that Hamilton's speed isn't just averagely, say Mike Trout fast, there isn't anyone comparable and they can utilize it in ways that other teams don't.

1 comment:

  1. Love the Hamilton segment - thanks for the link.

    One quibble - Braun was not caught (this time) because he failed a test. He was on the Biogenesis list and, like the others on it (save one), accepted the suspension. But he wasn't caught by a test. He and the others were done in by a disgruntle employee. Had he stayed gruntle, there would have been no suspensions and you would again be delighting in the play (and antics) of Alex Rodriguez.