Twins Week in Review: August 23rd-30th

Reasons to be happy
1. Schafer
Our Fuld of the last month is hitting .324 with his usual track star mentality on the base paths. I was going to say more but then I decided to not pretend I care. This has been the worst week of the season, he's not coming back next year. One hot streak means nothing.
2. Santana
3. Vargas
I'm grouping the only two reasons this season hasn't been a total disaster this year together. If this seems lazy that's because it is. Those two, Gibson and maybe Hughes are the only reasons for optimism all of this year. Arcia regressed, Hicks didn't do anything, Buxton and Sano were injured, Mauer's on the downslope and Nolasco's been a colossal disappointment. I'm seriously considering locking myself in a closet for the last month of the season.
Reasons to be frustrated
1. Suzuki
He's in a massive slump right now, not looking like the guy at the beginning of the season with a .313 average on balls in play. He hit .241 in August, hitting his low point in an 0-6 game against the Tigers... in which the Twins scored 20 runs as a team.
2. May
You can't put into words how awful May's been. Whenever he's pitching I'm just waiting for the inevitable meltdown to come. Take his second start for example: He cruised through the first four innings, then in the fifth he got the first two guys out, before this sequence: Walk, Walk, Walk, single, single, Royals up four nothing. He's like a guy at a poker table: You never know when his luck is going to run out. Every night in my daily prayers to the baseball gods I ask them to not turn May into the next Nolasco. Hey, speaking of that awful overpaid free agent bust...
3. Nolasco
Continues to exist.
Random Thought of the Week
The A's, going into full desperation mode, acquired Adam Dunn a few days ago. Really, how desperate do you have to be to give up anything for him? I'd say he's bad against righties (batting .232) but that would imply he's better against lefties, or even that he's not arguably the worst hitter in the league against southpaws. (.105) With runners in scoring position he's hitting .226, throw two outs into that equation and it drops to .209. I could spit out these stats all day. Be excited for your savior, A's fans.
Dan Gladden Stupidity Moment of the Week
In which we look at something moronic Dan Gladden said while announcing Twins games
We've got another Danny ego-check. On Tuesday, he was telling Provus about how he took batting practice with the team. Nothing much there, but then we went on for, this isn't an exaggeration, five minutes about how impressed Dozier and the rest of the team was. By the way he described it, you would have thought he could've played that night. Sometimes I think he forgets he was a career .270 hitter.